Couples Coaching Sessions Either By Phone, Skype Video, or In-Person
Are you tired of long-standing conflicts that continue to recycle and want resolution, completion, and peace to restore your loving connection via communication?
Or maybe you are looking for an alternative to marriage therapy or want to improve their communication to make their marriage therapy more effective?
Or perhaps you already have a solid relationship and want to enrich or “top off” your relationship with exploring deeper levels of intimacy and expressions of love in the way you communicate?
Or maybe you’re in your retirement years and look for more connection, peace and ease?
A Couples Session is an invitation for you to explore:
- A powerful way for each person to be deeply heard and understood about specific conflicts that are currently presenting themselves. Facilitating such quality connection itself often inspires a softening and natural resolution to occur. (Here’s more info about layers of couple’s conflicts.)
- Assistance in clearly defining what each person wants in the relationship and supporting the couple to generate specific strategies so that both people can get their important needs met.
- An understanding and application of a framework outside the right/wrong frame of reference in which most of our conflicts reside. I invite couples to resolve their conflicts from a different level from which they are created. Many long-standing, seemingly intractable conflicts, can get a sense of completion and the relationship can be restored to wholeness.
- The subtle obstacles that prevent deeper levels of intimacy and closeness.
- Deepening the capacity to want to freely give and receive from each other.
- An open and nonjudgmental way to honestly explore. (I don’t evaluate or prescribe to couples some ideal way to be or a viewpoint about what they should be doing and where they need to go. I yield to the couple’s own values and needs to inform the process.)
This couples exploration is offered either as regular coaching sessions where we zero in on some challenge or a Private 8-week course where the couple reads a book, does workbook exercises, practices during the week and get additional teaching in the private session.
Which way you choose depends upon whether you just want to work on a particular challenge or learn tools that will handle any challenge that you can use for the rest of your life.
One Man’s Experience of The Private Compassionate Communication Course
Why do minor disagreements spiral out of control and turn into major blow-ups? For far too long, my wife and I felt powerless to prevent emotional escalation, with irritation turning to frustration, then resentment, and finally anger. Arguments went off the rails, straying to places both sides would regret.
In hindsight, we could identify a series of miscommunications: talking past each other, exaggerating or mischaracterizing, score-keeping. Too often our best interests were betrayed by poor word choice. Unable to preempt these missteps, we felt stuck, doomed to repeat the same futile arguments.
Jerry Donoghue showed us that there is a way out: Compassionate Communication provides a roadmap, a sort of shortcut to help us stay on track so we can resolve potential conflicts without veering off on unproductive digressions. It’s an easily remembered template that shows both partners how to respectfully connect with each other’s feelings and needs.
Unlike our old adversarial style, we’ve been surprised by how often we now both feel that our needs are being met. Having learned how to negotiate this difficult crossroads in our marriage, our sense is that once safely through, there’s no going back to our old fogbound communication style. We wish we’d discovered it decades sooner, but it’s never too late.
Thanks, Jerry!
—Ray C.
The Private 8-week Couples Course
Sometimes couples choose to do the 8-week course privately either due to challenges with scheduling in attending the course, or they feel more comfortable doing the course privately instead of group learning.
What this looks like is the couple will read a book, and do exercises and partner homework from a companion workbook which will be given to you.
They’ll schedule a session each week for 8 weeks. This intensive learning period has done wonders for many couples. Please feel free to call to ask any questions about the way I work. There is more information about how the compassionate communication model is effective with relationships on this page.
One Woman’s Experience of The Private Compassionate Communication Course
“My husband & I had tried marriage counseling before, and while it helped us address some problems, it never gave us the skills to break out of our old communication patterns and move forward. We had read the NVC book, which was a huge epiphany, but struggled with it on our own. When we found Jerry’s “Compassionate Communication Class”, that’s what made all the difference in being able to actually put NVC principles into practice. It’s kind of like learning a “new language” and his course gives you both the guidance and real practice you need to become “fluent” in it.
Before Jerry’s private class, when we’d have an argument, the tension and hard feelings would often last for days…sometimes, longer. But now, conflicts are fewer and if we do have one, we are able to pause, calmly “dismantle” the interaction and understand what was really going on. It’s also easier to bring up difficult topics without the fear that it might turn into a big argument.
We’ve both embraced these new “rules of engagement” and finally feel that we are moving forward; there’s now a sense of cooperation and patience with each other that we didn’t have before. I wish we’d discovered Jerry’s course 30 years ago before we got married, but we’re proof that you can always improve your communication skills! I highly recommend this course to all newly(and not-so-newly)weds! Thanks, Jerry!
—Jill
Couples Coaching Logistic Considerations and Concerns
General Considerations: Depending upon the circumstance, ideally, I like would to see each person separately before coming together in a joint session. This gives me an opportunity to connect and really explore and hear the deep needs that are not being met in the relationship from each party. I also enjoy getting to know the person before proceeding as a couple in a joint session.
My general approach is to create the conditions where each person can be heard and understood. I do this in a variety of ways. We start by making agreements about what will happen and how I might intercede to support the process to stay on track.
My overriding intention is to create the quality of connection where each person is actively willing to find a way where both people’s needs can be met. People do not have to know the compassionate communication model in order for a session to be effective. I use the model in the background to restore the connection, facilitate understanding, or deepen the connection with each person.
Common Concerns: Some couples have concerns pertaining to fairness and impartiality. Sometimes the gender of the facilitator might stimulate fairness concerns for the opposite sex person. I try to assure couples that I am on the side of the compassionate communication model. My being male doesn’t mean I support people from a male perspective or the male in the relationship. Rather, I support each person to get what they are wanting and support a process that tries to get them what they want. The model itself is a neutral instrument. This model forces me to work within your own value system and prevents me from consciously or unconsciously superimposing my values on to yours.
One concern I have is I would like both people to be willing participants. Often I find one of the people dragged to a session and this doesn’t make for a productive session. If one person is reluctant, please have them call me and I can discuss this. Any concerns and reluctance this person has will be alleviated by letting them know that their needs will be considered and held valuable in the session.
My husband and I decided to take the 8-week Private Compassionate Communication class with Jerry in 2018. We thought it would be a good idea because after being married umpteen years, we became aware that we weren’t fully listening to one another and dipping into bad habits like the blame game. The effect that using NVC principals has had our communication has been profound. We slow down and listen now. When we really need to slow down, we try and repeat what we hear the other person saying. We speak to express our needs without blaming or projecting. We also have a teenage daughter. The lesson in empathy has dramatically improved our relationship with her, understanding that in every interaction, she has her own set of needs that are often different than ours, but equally as valid. Gaining an understanding of NVC has blown fresh air into our relationships with one another and we’re so grateful for it. Jen Lauzon
Schedule Your Session Today!
Sorry, I do not accept insurance. To make an appointment, just call me at 828-252-0538 or e-mail me. Sessions can be done in-person in my Asheville office at 150 E. Chestnut St., or via phone or Skype video.
In-person Sessions: You can pay via check, cash, or swipe your credit card in the office.
If scheduling a phone/Skype session: Payment needs to be received 24 hours before the start of your session. Use the button below to pay by credit card.
To pay by check please send your check to the address below in time for it to be received before the start of the session. Make checks payable to Jerry Donoghue and send to Jerry Donoghue 150 E. Chestnut St. #1 Asheville, NC, 28801
24-hour cancellation notice is required for all canceled appointments or you will be charged for a session.
| Coaching Session Options |
Couples Coaching Sessions Either By Phone, Skype Video, or In-Person
Are you tired of long-standing conflicts that continue to recycle and want resolution, completion, and peace to restore your loving connection via communication?
Or maybe you are looking for an alternative to marriage therapy or want to improve their communication to make their marriage therapy more effective?
Or perhaps you already have a solid relationship and want to enrich or “top off” your relationship with exploring deeper levels of intimacy and expressions of love in the way you communicate?
Or maybe you’re in your retirement years and look for more
A Couples Session is an invitation for you to explore:
- A powerful way for each person to be deeply heard and understood about specific conflicts that are currently presenting themselves. Facilitating such quality connection itself often inspires a softening and natural resolution to occur. (Here’s more info about layers of couple’s conflicts.)
- Assistance in clearly defining what each person wants in the relationship and supporting the couple to generate specific strategies so that both people can get their important needs met.
- An understanding and application of a framework outside the right/wrong frame of reference in which most of our conflicts reside. I invite couples to resolve their conflicts from a different level from which they are created. Many long-standing, seemingly intractable conflicts, can get a sense of completion and the relationship can be restored to wholeness.
- The subtle obstacles that prevent deeper levels of intimacy and closeness.
- Deepening the capacity to want to freely give and receive from each other.
- An open and nonjudgmental way to honestly explore. (I don’t evaluate or prescribe to couples some ideal way to be or a viewpoint about what they should be doing and where they need to go. I yield to the couple’s own values and needs to inform the process.)
This couples exploration is offered either as regular coaching sessions where we zero in on some challenge or a Private 8-week course where the couple reads a book, does workbook exercises, practices during the week and get additional teaching in the private session.
Which way you choose depends upon whether you just want to work on a particular challenge or learn tools that will handle any challenge that you can use for the rest of your life.
One Man’s Experience of The Private Compassionate Communication Course
Why do minor disagreements spiral out of control and turn into major blow-ups? For far too long, my wife and I felt powerless to prevent emotional escalation, with irritation turning to frustration, then resentment, and finally anger. Arguments went off the rails, straying to places both sides would regret.
In hindsight, we could identify a series of miscommunications: talking past each other, exaggerating or mischaracterizing, score-keeping. Too often our best interests were betrayed by poor word choice. Unable to preempt these missteps, we felt stuck, doomed to repeat the same futile arguments.
Jerry Donoghue showed us that there is a way out: Compassionate Communication provides a roadmap, a sort of shortcut to help us stay on track so we can resolve potential conflicts without veering off on unproductive digressions. It’s an easily remembered template that shows both partners how to respectfully connect with each other’s feelings and needs.
Unlike our old adversarial style, we’ve been surprised by how often we now both feel that our needs are being met. Having learned how to negotiate this difficult crossroads in our marriage, our sense is that once safely through, there’s no going back to our old fogbound communication style. We wish we’d discovered it decades sooner, but it’s never too late.
Thanks, Jerry!
—Ray C.
The Private 8-week Couples Course
Sometimes couples choose to do the 8-week course privately either due to challenges with scheduling in attending the course, or they feel more comfortable doing the course privately instead of group learning.
What this looks like is the couple will read a book, and do exercises and partner homework from a companion workbook which will be given to you.
They’ll schedule a session each week for 8 weeks. This intensive learning period has done wonders for many couples. Please feel free to call to ask any questions about the way I work. There is more information about how the compassionate communication model is effective with relationships on this page.
One Woman’s Experience of The Private Compassionate Communication Course
“My husband & I had tried marriage counseling before, and while it helped us address some problems, it never gave us the skills to break out of our old communication patterns and move forward. We had read the NVC book, which was a huge epiphany, but struggled with it on our own. When we found Jerry’s “Compassionate Communication Class”, that’s what made all the difference in being able to actually put NVC principles into practice. It’s kind of like learning a “new language” and his course gives you both the guidance and real practice you need to become “fluent” in it.
Before Jerry’s private class, when we’d have an argument, the tension and hard feelings would often last for days…sometimes, longer. But now, conflicts are fewer and if we do have one, we are able to pause, calmly “dismantle” the interaction and understand what was really going on. It’s also easier to bring up difficult topics without the fear that it might turn into a big argument.
We’ve both embraced these new “rules of engagement” and finally feel that we are moving forward; there’s now a sense of cooperation and patience with each other that we didn’t have before. I wish we’d discovered Jerry’s course 30 years ago before we got married, but we’re proof that you can always improve your communication skills! I highly recommend this course to all newly(and not-so-newly)weds! Thanks, Jerry!
—Jill
Couples Coaching Logistic Considerations and Concerns
General Considerations: Depending upon the circumstance, ideally, I like would to see each person separately before coming together in a joint session. This gives me an opportunity to connect and really explore and hear the deep needs that are not being met in the relationship from each party. I also enjoy getting to know the person before proceeding as a couple in a joint session.
My general approach is to create the conditions where each person can be heard and understood. I do this in a variety of ways. We start by making agreements about what will happen and how I might intercede to support the process to stay on track.
My overriding intention is to create the quality of connection where each person is actively willing to find a way where both people’s needs can be met. People do not have to know the compassionate communication model in order for a session to be effective. I use the model in the background to restore the connection, facilitate understanding, or deepen the connection with each person.
Common Concerns: Some couples have concerns pertaining to fairness and impartiality. Sometimes the gender of the facilitator might stimulate fairness concerns for the opposite sex person. I try to assure couples that I am on the side of the compassionate communication model. My being male doesn’t mean I support people from a male perspective or the male in the relationship. Rather, I support each person to get what they are wanting and support a process that tries to get them what they want. The model itself is a neutral instrument. This model forces me to work within your own value system and prevents me from consciously or unconsciously superimposing my values on to yours.
One concern I have is I would like both people to be willing participants. Often I find one of the people dragged to a session and this doesn’t make for a productive session. If one person is reluctant, please have them call me and I can discuss this. Any concerns and reluctance this person has will be alleviated by letting them know that their needs will be considered and held valuable in the session.
My husband and I decided to take the 8-week Private Compassionate Communication class with Jerry in 2018. We thought it would be a good idea because after being married umpteen years, we became aware that we weren’t fully listening to one another and dipping into bad habits like the blame game. The effect that using NVC principals has had our communication has been profound. We slow down and listen now. When we really need to slow down, we try and repeat what we hear the other person saying. We speak to express our needs without blaming or projecting. We also have a teenage daughter. The lesson in empathy has dramatically improved our relationship with her, understanding that in every interaction, she has her own set of needs that are often different than ours, but equally as valid. Gaining an understanding of NVC has blown fresh air into our relationships with one another and we’re so grateful for it. Jen
Schedule Your Session Today!
Sorry, I do not accept insurance. To make an appointment, just call me at 828-768-8093 or e-mail me. Sessions can be done in-person in my Asheville office at 150 E. Chestnut St., or via phone or Zoom video.
In-person Sessions: You can pay via check, cash, or swipe your credit card in the office.
If scheduling a phone/Skype session: Payment needs to be received 24 hours before the start of your session. Use the button below to pay by credit card.
To pay by check please send your check to the address below in time for it to be received before the start of the session. Make checks payable to Jerry Donoghue and send to Jerry Donoghue 150 E. Chestnut St. #1 Asheville, NC, 28801
24-hour cancellation notice is required for all canceled appointments or you will be charged for a session.
| Coaching Session Options |
